Where did you go?
Now that question is both easier and harder to answer. Easier because I just went south. Harder because I heard tell that the foremost magic academy was found on the southwestern continent. Either answer belies the fact that I really had NO IDEA what my lost ass was doing. My wings flew me to a small town called Enésimo Pueblo, which I heard later is actually super important for some reason. It was than that I realized that all I had were the cloths on my back and the honey in my body, not a single coin to my name. That meant no food, no shelter, NOTHING. I will say many things about myself in this diary, one of those things will never be that I’m ALWAYS smart.
What I can say is that I maybe FUCKING lucky sometimes. So as I was wondering around looking for anything to eat in Enésimo, when a bar/inn/brothel came into view. Desperation kicked in and I stumbled inside. While I was feeling out the crowd, gearing up my loins to do terrible things to survive and face the consequences of my mistakes, I end up running into a mage who’s name I’ve honestly forgotten. I started to talk about my love of magic and the benefits of Wadalisis with the guy. And would you believe it, he was actually INTERESTED in what I had to say and not just because he was grossly horny for my teenage ass. He was so interested in my dream, into developing my potential as a mage, that he was willing to write me a letter of recommendation for the Great United Magic College. His only “condition” was tasting my honey straight from the tap.
Yeah, I made out with some random, balding, middle-aged wizard in order to not only find but get a leg in the door of what would be my alma mater. Am I ashamed of my past actions? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t. Would I do things differently? Of course! I’d have tracked the school down myself and left the pedo to rot in nowhere-land! Thankfully he ONLY wanted my mouth honey and didn’t try to get into any of my other holes. Maybe he wasn’t a creepy lolicon and was just into the Wadalisi info I dumped on him earlier… Nah, he was definitely a pervert into kids. For fuck’s sake, we MET in a BROTHEL(/bar/inn)! He knew what he was doing! I knew what could have happened! Regardless, I had a direction to head toward and a pass to get where I needed to go.
Speaking of where I went(like the name of this segment), let me say that the GUM is INCREDIBLE! It’s not only that because it’s the world’s top magic University, nor that it’s the headquarters of the Magic Union It’s a marvel in and of itself! Inside those doors is the home of mythic creatures of unimaginable power, scripture of the the 7 Human Gods that defined old magics and so much more! It’s even got a ZODIAC BEAST locked up inside those walls! A Fucking world ending Monster that wants only destruction and carnage and they’re using it to study how to FINALLY break the cycle of the fiends’ rebirth! And outside of the structure lives their guardian Aus the Stone-Faced Killer, a Holy Iron Colossus gifted by Human God Clarence to the Union’s Founder. For 3,000 years, Aus has stood watch over GUM and protected it, even through the old wars of the Mages known as the Alabastor Struggles!
Even now, after spending so long in those hallowed halls, I can’t help but feel the over-welling awe I had when I looked upon it for the first time. Never before in my wildest dreams could I have even begun to envision such a beautiful sight let alone believe that I would ever be allowed entrance in.
My little mind was FUCKING BLOWN!!
As soon as I was done my brain-orgasm brought on from the sheer majesty of it all, I flew inside and went to the entry process. The letter got me in but it was my humble but impressive technique and knowledge that landed me my spot in that year’s beginner class. After so long, I made it to where I had always meant to be, the World of Wizards!