Who IS Windy Cosmafa?
Now that I’ve defined WHAT I am, I should go over WHO I am. I am… sorta privileged, I guess. Yeah, taking everything in consideration, I was born in pretty well off. Shit, this is harder to start than I thought. Ok, let’s try to approach this from the beginning, MY beginning.
MY DOTING SINGLE MOTHER: COSMA CHAOSFA
I am the first born child of Cosma Chaosfa. From what I remember, Mom’s business was selling her various honeys on the Western continents. I don’t know why but apparently her strategy to making money off her bodily fluids involved having kids with random dudes and trying to use them to sell them. That’s right, I don’t know who my dad is! He could be a powerful adventurer, could be a political figure, could be an infamous criminal. Hell, he’s probably some schmuck she found on the side of the side of the road! All mom’s ever told me is that he was another Wadalisi because she wanted me to produce pure Wadalisi honey. Fucking gross way to view your kids. Honestly, I really never learned much about my mother’s past or personality. Couldn’t bring myself to care. I’ll get to THAT baggage in a later entry, don’t you worry.
BEST TOMBOY TOT:
WINDY COSMAFA
Look at me! I was a CUTE lil brat, right?! After coming out of my pupa stage, my fun-loving, devil-may-care attitude took shape. Now, clearly I’ve developed emotionally and very physically since my youth. Back then, Mom was really pissed that I was so boy-like in my behavior and choice of dress. What can I say? T-shirts and shorts are comfortable and easy to wear! Plus, it allowed me to run around and wreak havoc on our small village. Regardless, not girly/womanly enough for her first daughter so she always insisted on me wearing dresses when she had higher paying customers visit. Fat lot of good that did to stop me from being the most chaotic little shit she tried to raise on her own. She ended up having to make drones to try to wrangle me and make me more feminine. That sorta worked, as I did lose my virginity to one when I was “old enough.” Don’t ask about it, it wasn’t sexy or anything. In fact, it was really pathetic. If I had to put a number to it, I’d have to say it was 3/10. Made me really turned off by drones in general, so I refuse to make my own. What was I talking about? Oh, right. My youth. Pretty neat but there were problems that I’ll get to later.
GIRLY FIRST HALF-SISTER: ROCKY COSMAFA
By the first few days of my behavior, mom decided that her next kid would be the one to really win her the prize. So about 5 months after I came out of my pupa form, my first sister Rocky made her debut. Rocky, VERY MUCH unlike my rambunctious younger self, is 100x the girl my mom wanted. She always wore the dresses mom bought, always obeyed mom and the drones, ALWAYS followed proper etiquette and NEVER played with me. Fucking Lame! God, if she wasn’t so cute and my precious baby sister, I’d have bullied her prissy ass into real submission! This is getting to intensely incestuous, so I’ll just sum her up as mom’s pretty little princess and be done with it. I can’t say I hate her but I really can’t say I like her very much either. Sure, I’m pretty womanly now and can appreciate dresses and the like. Even so, I doubt I’d be able to stand dealing with whatever years of being THIS makes a woman.
WEIRDO SECOND HALF-SISTER: BOB COSMAFA
I guess mom was pretty satisfied with Rocky because she seemed to let my second sister be as weird as she is. Born Fiery, Bob here very earlier on INSISTED on everyone call her “Bob.” At one point, she started cutting a tuft of her own hair and affixing it to her upper lip on a regular basis. Now, you might be thinking, “aren’t you misgendering them? Why do you keep using female pronouns? Are you some sorta TERF?!” No! I’m calling her “her” because Bob INSISTED on it! Don’t ask me! Considering what she was like, I’m pretty sure she’s now “they” by this point and I’m cool with it! Regardless of her eccentricities, I LOVED my second baby sister because she actually hung out with me! We’d play tag, hide-and-seek, ding-dong-ditch, pants-the-baker, so many games of childish and/or nefarious kinds. Thinking about it, Bob was the the one who insisted on dismissing Rocky from any in-jokes. Aaaaand was the one who convinced me to fuck that drone and made fun of me for it… Bob was a bad friend in retrospect but I can’t blame her for it. I did those things she suggested like she did what I suggested. A truly vicious cycle of Hellion-behavior my youth was, I swear.
SHY THIRD HALF-SISTER: ICY COSMAFA
As if it was a pendulum, my mom’s ovaries produced yet another feminine daughter after another masculine daughter. But unlike Rocky, Icy is cool in my book… Oh God, that pun just flowed out of me! That’s awesome! Like she is! Icy wore dresses like Rocky, learned etiquette like Rocky but followed me around like Bob and joined our reign of terror! Now she was a bit of a coward and would OFTEN poopoo Bob or my schemes. Even if she against pulling down the pants of the baker in front of his customer, she still stood up for us and stuck with our bullshit! Goodness, I loved her best of all my sisters. Sure, she wasn’t going to climb trees like me, Icy was always following me and sticking by my side. Plus, she was so cute when I paid her complements! I mean, for J-Star’s sake, LOOK AT HER! She could barely hold it together when getting her photo taken! If I wasn’t related to her, by Maara’s infinite libido, I would-- Woo, I gotta calm down. She’s my sister. SISTER! Sister’s are family and family are OFF the table sexually! Gotta say that out loud-- write that down to make it clear. Anyway, Icy is the best sister and I love her in the most platonic way possible, damnit!
And that was the house hold I grew up in and the family I lived with for 14 years. I had a high-strung mom, a priggish first sister, a bizarre second sister and a bashful third sister. Oh and no dad. Diary, I can just imagine what you’re thinking. “Your life so far sounds sorta boring and not enough sexy stuff. Get to the part where you blow a heman for drugs, you whore!” And to that I say, “I must have gotten the wrong idea across about me. I wouldn’t blow a heman for drugs. I’d do it for the taste…” Also I’d say, “Why are you expecting sexy stuff from a 14 year old, you pervert?!” ALSO I’d say, “Just you wait, you wacky fellow. This is only the beginning. We’re about to go over what I did AFTER spending 14 years under my mom’s roof. So stick around!” …Soooo yeah, we’ll cover all that next time. Later, Diary!